you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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