He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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