i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
