Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
