I'm so fucking centered right now
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
