Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
