Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
