I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
