Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
