awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
