We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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