I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Im part way to drunk.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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