i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
