I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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