Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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