just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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