Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
