I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
