CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize