My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
