We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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