I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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