Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
