I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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