Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
