Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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