My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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