sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
false alarm. still invincible.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i need some magic done to my vagina
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My vagina just clenched in fear
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
