worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
