He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
