if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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