I heard we made out
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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