i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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