Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize