So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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