i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
