Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
