its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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