thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
