dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize