we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
