You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
