Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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