I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
