small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize