yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
