The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
