Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
