I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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