are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
