did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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