I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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