I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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