You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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