Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
