ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
