she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
