so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
