I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
is wine microwaveable?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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