direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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