Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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