Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
