By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
