Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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