We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
