it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
