There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
