4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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