Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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