My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
