is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He felt like a one man threesome
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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