Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize