Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize