I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
